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How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide

7 min read

Writing an obituary is one of the most personal tasks a family faces after a death. It serves as both a public announcement and a lasting tribute — a brief biography that captures a life in a few hundred words. Whether you are writing an obituary for publication in a newspaper, posting it online, or both, this guide covers what to include, how to structure it, and what it costs.

What to Include in an Obituary

A complete obituary typically contains the following elements in this order:

  1. Full name and age: Include maiden name if applicable, and any widely known nicknames
  2. Date and place of death: City and state; cause of death is optional and a personal choice
  3. Date and place of birth: City and state
  4. Survivors: Spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and other close family members. List by name and relationship
  5. Predeceased by: Close family members who passed away before the deceased
  6. Education and career: Schools attended, degrees earned, notable career achievements or employers
  7. Military service: Branch, rank, years of service, and notable assignments or decorations
  8. Memberships and community involvement: Churches, clubs, volunteer organizations, boards
  9. Hobbies and passions: What the person loved doing — this is where personality shines through
  10. Service details: Date, time, and location of visitation, funeral, and burial or memorial service
  11. Memorial donations: If the family prefers donations to a charity in lieu of flowers

Writing Tips for a Meaningful Obituary

The best obituaries go beyond a list of facts. They capture the essence of a person — what made them laugh, what they cared about, how they affected the people around them. Some tips:

  • Use the person's voice: If your father always said a particular phrase, include it. Small details make obituaries memorable
  • Tell a story: Instead of "He enjoyed fishing," write "He spent every Saturday morning on Lake Champlain, and his record bass — 8 pounds, 3 ounces — was the subject of every Thanksgiving dinner"
  • Be honest but kind: An obituary does not need to be a hagiography, but it should emphasize the positive
  • Keep it focused: Most newspaper obituaries run 200-400 words. Online obituaries can be longer, but concise writing is more powerful
  • Read it aloud: This catches awkward phrasing and helps ensure the tone feels right

Where to Publish an Obituary

Obituaries can be published in multiple venues:

  • Newspaper: Local papers and the deceased person's hometown paper are traditional choices. Major metros may charge $200-$1,500+ per publication
  • Funeral home website: Most funeral homes post obituaries on their website at no additional charge as part of their service package
  • Online obituary sites: Legacy.com, Echovita, and similar sites offer free or low-cost obituary hosting with guestbook features
  • Social media: Facebook memorial pages and other social platforms are increasingly common for sharing obituaries and tributes

Cost of Publishing an Obituary

Publication costs vary dramatically:

  • Small/medium newspapers: $100 – $500 for a standard-length obituary
  • Large metro newspapers (NYT, LA Times, etc.): $500 – $2,000+ depending on length
  • Funeral home website: Usually included in the service package at no additional cost
  • Online obituary platforms: Free basic listings; premium features $50 – $200

Many newspapers charge by the line or by the word, with photos adding $50-$200 extra. Some papers offer package pricing for a set number of words. Always ask for the rate sheet before committing.

Death Notice vs. Obituary

A death notice is a brief, factual announcement (name, date of death, service details) typically placed by the funeral home. An obituary is a longer biographical piece, usually written by the family. Death notices cost less ($50-$200) and are sometimes published free in community papers. An obituary provides a richer tribute but at greater cost.

Timing

Most newspapers need the obituary submitted 2-3 days before desired publication. If the funeral is in 3 days, submit the obituary on day one. For online publication, posting is usually immediate. Having the obituary drafted before contacting the newspaper saves time during an already stressful period.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should an obituary be?
Newspaper obituaries typically run 200-400 words for a standard tribute. Online obituaries can be any length, but 400-800 words provides a thorough biography without overwhelming readers. The most important factor is that every word adds value — concise writing is more powerful and respectful of readers' time.
Do I have to include cause of death in an obituary?
No. Including the cause of death is entirely optional and a personal family decision. Common approaches include specific mention ("after a courageous battle with cancer"), a general reference ("after a brief illness"), or no mention at all. There is no legal or ethical obligation to disclose the cause of death.
Who traditionally writes the obituary?
Typically a close family member writes the obituary, often with input from other relatives. Funeral homes offer obituary writing assistance as part of their services, and professional obituary writers charge $200-$500. Some families collaborate on a draft and have one person edit it into final form.
Can I publish an obituary after the funeral?
Yes. While obituaries are traditionally published before or on the day of the funeral to inform the community, there is no requirement for timing. Some families publish an obituary weeks or months later, especially if they need time to compose a meaningful tribute or if the death was sudden.
Should I include the home address in an obituary?
No. Publishing a home address in an obituary is strongly discouraged because it can alert burglars that the home may be empty during funeral services. Instead, list the city and state of residence. Service details should reference the funeral home or venue address, not the family home.

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